January 2010
40 posts
New friends help you discover new sides to you.
Old friends remind you who you are.
I’m blessed to have the best of both worlds.
Perhaps its time to accept that my heart will always be split between two shores and that it will never be one or the other.
Hey, I’m getting the hang of this being-a-migrant thing!
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incompetent adults
There are certain questions that kids ask that make me feel like an incompetent adult. Yesterday, I was in the car with my 5-year old niece and we passed by a cemetery.
A: Hey Dada, do you know what that place is, with all the crosses?
D: No.
A: It's where they put dead people. They put them in a coffin, do you know what a coffin is?
D: No.
A: It's a wooden box. When people die, they put them in a wooden box, dig a hole in the ground, put the box in the hole, then cover it up with soil again. Then they put a cross on top.
D: Rocky died. He ate a poisonous frog. They buried him in our backyard. How come he doesn't get a cross?
A: Because Rocky is an animal.
D: Why don't animals get crosses?
A: Um... because they don't go to church.
Thought bubble: I wanted to kick myself in the head for saying that. It's the ultimate holier-than-thou answer. "You don't get a sacred marker on your grave because you don't go to church. Niya niya niya". So I follow it up.
A: Um... it's not like they're not allowed to have crosses though. You can certainly put one if you want.
D: But Ninang Ala, how come there are so many, many crosses? How come so many people died?
A: Because lots of people die. Especially when there are wars and fighting, lots and lots of people die.
D: But only them? Only people who go to war die?
A: No Dada, everyone dies.
Thought bubble: The subtle change in her eyes, brought on by the dawning of that realization, will stay with me forever. Her next question surprised me a bit.
D: ... even if you believe in God?
A: ... um, yes. Um... we all die, but our soul lives on forever.
Thought bubble: Do I really believe that, or am I just feeding her the same thing adults used to feed me so that I won't be afraid of death? Answering these sorts of questions make you feel a bit guilty because any answer you give is bound to impose your own religious beliefs on someone so easily impressionable. It feels like such a huge responsibility to give the right answer. Should I make up some fantastical story, or dumb things down so that she'll understand? Should I tell her that I don't know? Or should I just tell her what I really believe in? Wait, what do I believe in anyway????
D: Ninang Ala, what's a soul?
Thought bubble: Another big question. My niece may grow up to be Christian, or Buddhist, or an atheist. But for now, I'll tell her what I think I really believe in. Why lie? The child wants to know. True, I don't have all the answers, but I do believe in something. She'll be old enough to decide for herself one day.
A: It's the part of us that will never, ever die. Our bodies will die someday and they'll be buried in the ground, but our souls will live forever.
Thought bubble: Whew. Ok, I didn't lie to her. But, did I tell her the truth? Then she hit me with the ultimate question.
D: But how do you know???
Thought bubble: Oh no. Here we go. I will not be able to answer and she will know I am a sham, just like all the other adults in the car with us.
But my dad, who has been listening in, steps in and saves me by saying: "You just know."
That answer sits comfortably with her, surprisingly. My niece leaves it at that, and starts talking about how excited she is to go to Fun Ranch on Tuesday. As for me, my facade is intact (though my interior is in disarray). Did I pass the exam? Maybe I did, because for now, she still thinks adults know everything.
Someday, she'll awaken and know that nobody has all the answers.
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Feature on my courtroom sketching on The Manila... →
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WatchSilly me. I accidentally pressed “stop recording” a few seconds after take off. *slaps self on the forehead*
Next time I do this, I’m gonna dress as Wonder Woman.
Anyway, some facts:
The longest in Asia.
840 meters long
Elevation drop= 100 meters
Estimated speed= 60-100 kph
Launch point location at 4000 feet above sea level.
FUN!!!!
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exploration day
I took the MRT all by myself today. For the first time. I am ashamed to say that while I lived in Manila for 23 years, I was always chauffered around in the safe, silent bubble of my car whenever I needed to get anywhere. Having lived the commuters life in Sydney the past 4 years, I’ve grown to loath being reliant on other people in order to get around.
Navigating the MRT is ridiculously...
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New Slang's "Grade School For Yuppies"
I had the most fun time being a guest speaker at new-slang.com’s event, “Grade School for Yuppies” at Black Soup Project.
The topic for January 16 was “My first time…”, meaning I could speak about any of my “firsts”, and was alloted 15 minutes to have a show-and-tell about it.
I haven’t done any serious writing or public speaking in 2 years...
L: Do you have Middle Eastern blood?
A: No, but my grandma was part Basque. Why?
L: Ah, kasi there's a duskiness to your features. Back in college, hindi gaanong kahalata but now na nagiging woman ka na, mas-obvious siya.
A: Nagiging woman?
L: Oo.
A: NAGIGING woman?! I'm 26 years old! Sinasabi mo na hindi parin ako woman? Ngayon pa lang ako nagiging woman?
L: Ay, sorry!
A: Walang hiya ka! Buti friends tayo.
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My interview with SBS Radio on court sketching →
SBS Radio is Australia’s only multi-cultural radio station.
The interview is downloadable here. I hope the link works properly as I had a hard time accessing it.
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evil eye
I dislike being stared at. I understand that in public, people are bound to stare at a really tall, skinny girl with a familiar face. Brief stares of recognition are okay. Prolonged, deliberate stares are rude and make me uncomfortable.
I especially hate men who stare. There’s a difference between a man who gives you a brief, fleeting stare of admiration, and a man who acts like he has the...
back to basics
I like having less and needing less. I like how I’ve learned to live with less of everything. Even my worries are more basic and concern day-to-day reality.
Worrying about the dishes, and the laundry grounds me and keeps me from obsessing about things like my hair and how many Twitter followers I have. Having chores keeps me from partying myself out and going out too much. Plus, I find that...
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elegance
Trait I would like to imbibe for the new year: elegance.
Being clear about my own intentions. Discarding all movements and actions that deter from my intention.
Being simple and effective with others, with myself.
As much as possible saying only what I mean, and meaning what I say.
Above all, being comfortable with myself, and therefore being graceful.
““The target only exists if the archer exists. What justifies its existence...”
– Paolo Coelho, “The Way of the Bow”
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A prayer I'd often repeat to myself while I was a...
Dear God/ Universe,
You made me good at what I do for a reason. I trust you and will answer this calling as best as I can. In exchange, I ask for clothing, a roof over my head, and enough food to sustain me. Above all, may this take me to interesting places.
Amen.
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A good day's work. →
Consider this my first post-graduation illustration “job”: sketches I did for courtroom hearing of Andal Ampatuan, Jr. Media wasn’t allowed inside so I saw my role as courtroom sketcher as being a witness for the people.
My original sketches are currently with the Supreme Court. Will secure high-res versions when I can.
I must say, I was always curious about being a courtroom sketcher, and said...
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