Why do we continue to suffer long after we’ve left places of suffering?

We may leave behind situations or relationships that hurt us or imprison us, but our minds tend to linger there a little bit longer, stuck in a loop. Even though we can leave toxic places or relationships behind, pain has to be unlearned. Sometimes it’s just a matter of constantly reminding ourselves that we are safe and far away, and that there is no longer any need to suffer. 

There are many types of poisonous mind loops we can get hung up on: heartbreak, victimization, anger, and blame. But time and again I learn that it does me no good to think of myself as unloved, unworthy, or damaged. You can choose what to hang on the walls of your mind, and it’s best to choose carefully. You’ll be looking at it every day of your life. 

This doesn’t mean talking yourself up with whatever delusion you choose. A healthy mind in grounded in reality: you are no longer in a place of suffering, there is no need to suffer any more. Where are you now? Look around you. 

But with all growth, unlearning is a process, one that takes two steps forward and one step back. So, take the time, be gentle with yourself, but remember, it’s safe to let go now.